12 Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas
My consultant said to me,
‘There’s no phlebotomy’,

On the second day of Christmas
My consultant said to me,
‘It’s your journal club,
And there’s no phlebotomy’,

On the third day of Christmas
My consultant said to me,
‘Here’s some drug rep pens,
It’s your journal club,
And there’s no phlebotomy’,

On the fourth day of Christmas
My consultant said to me,
‘There are 4 blocked beds,
Here’s some drug rep pens,
It’s your journal club
And there’s no phlebotomy’,

On the fifth day of Christmas
My consultant said to me,
‘What’s a pessary ring?
There are 4 blocked beds,
Here’s some drug rep pens,
It’s your journal club
And there’s no phlebotomy’,

On the sixth day of Christmas
My consultant said to me,
‘The drug charts are missing,
What’s a pessary ring?
There are 4 blocked beds,
Here’s your drug rep pens,
It’s your journal club
And there’s no phlebotomy,’

On the seventh day of Christmas
My consultant said to me,
‘Take a coherent clerking,
The drug charts are missing,
What’s a pessary ring?
There are 4 blocked beds,
Here’s your drug rep pens,
It’s your journal club
And there’s no phlebotomy’,

On the eighth day of Christmas
My consultant said to me,
‘We need a discharge meeting,
Take a coherent clerking,
The drug charts are missing,
What’s a pessary ring?
There are 4 blocked beds,
Here’s your drug rep pens,
It’s your journal club
And there’s no phlebotomy’,

On the ninth day of Christmas
My consultant said to me,
‘There’ve been some errors prescribing,
We need a discharge meeting,
Take a coherent clerking,
The drug charts are missing,
What’s a pessary ring?
There are 4 blocked beds,
Here’s your drug rep pens,
It’s your journal club
And there’s no phlebotomy’,

On the tenth day of Christmas
My consultant said to me,
‘Why’re the nurses praying?
There’ve been some errors prescribing,
We need a discharge meeting,
Take a coherent clerking,
The drug charts are missing,
What’s a pessary ring?
There are 4 blocked beds,
Here’s your drug rep pens,
It’s your journal club
And there’s no phlebotomy’,

On the eleventh day of Christmas
My consultant said to me,
‘You’re patient is absconding!
Why’re the nurses praying?
There’ve been some errors prescribing,
We need a discharge meeting,
Take a coherent clerking,
The drug charts are missing,
What’s a pessary ring?
There are 4 blocked beds,
Here’s your drug rep pens,
It’s your journal club
And there’s no phlebotomy’,

On the twelve day of Christmas
My consultant said to me,
‘Let’s get a running,
You’re patient is absconding!
Why’re the nurses praying?
There’ve been some errors prescribing,
We need a discharge meeting,
Take a coherent clerking,
The drug charts are missing,
What’s a pessary ring?
There are 4 blocked beds,
Here’s your drug rep pens,
It’s your journal club
And there’s no phlebotomy’.

And so my introduction to psychiatry continues…….

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